Parading: Where to Park and Where to Pee

     There are 75 parades rolling in and around New Orleans during Carnival Season this year! Seems a bit overwhelming, I know. Can you hit them all? Nope. This is logistically impossible as there are multiple parades rolling in different areas at the same time. Really what you need to decide is what kind of parade experience you want before you start plotting out which ones you're going to hit up and where you are going to stand. Are you going with a bunch of adults or is it a family affair? Are you concerned about catching as much as possible or are you more concerned about food choices or accessibility? New Orleanians don't just show up randomly at a parade. Many have their "spots" that they return to year after year, which are based on the above factors plus access to a potty. So what's the magic formula for perfect parading? Let's break it down...
   The families to adults ratio of a parade watching location is directly proportionate to the distance of the location from the start of the parade. As in, the closer you get to the beginning of the route, the more family oriented the atmosphere... and the closer you get to the end, the more adult it gets. This is ESPECIALLY true for night parades. Daytime parades are more family oriented in general and will have more families all along the route. The only real exception to this rule is Endymion. At the beginning of the Endymion route, the krewe hosts a concert (known as "Samedi Gras"... that is, "Fat Saturday") to kick off the parade so this tends to attract a more adult crowd around the immediate area of the concert stage, which is right at Orleans Ave. and City Park Ave. But as you move slightly further along, it becomes more families.
    There is a big bonus to making it an adult affair or taking your older kids to the end of the parade. Riders about to get off their floats start dumping all their throws as it gets closer to the end so standing at the end of the parade will assure you a really good amount of loot. The parades the second weekend (that is, the weekend right before Mardi Gras) have larger crowds and generally lean more towards the adult crowd while the first weekend (that is, two weeks before Mardi Gras) is more family oriented and the crowds are a lot lighter. 
    It is very simple to judge if the area you have chosen as your spot is family oriented. Just look around and see
how many ladders there are. A mandatory tool of any New Orleans family is a parade ladder. A parade ladder is typically a six foot-ish wooden ladder with a seat on top for kids to sit in so they can see and catch better. Some people really do up their ladders. Many are painted or hot-glued with beads. Some have shag carpet lining the seat so that it's nice and cozy. Many have cup holders (sometimes more for the parents than the kids!), and I've seen some
that take AC duct piping that's hooked on the side so the kids can catch stuff and drop it down the piping for a huge
bag waiting underneath! The more ladders in a an area, the more families are there.
     If you're traveling to New Orleans with your family and you're going to be in for numerous parades (particularly if you have kids 5 and under), it is well worth it to get a ladder. Hardware stores all over the New Orleans area sell them, usually around $80. Look for one that has wheels on the side of the seat so that they roll easily to your spot. Whether you have kids or not, necessities at any parade include folding chairs and ice chests. As many people are aware, it is perfectly acceptable (and very much EXPECTED at parades!) to have open alcoholic beverages on the street, but if you have glass bottles, make sure you bring plastic cups for your drinks because glass out on the streets is NOT legal... or safe. Plus, ice chests serve as extra seating if you run out of chairs.
    As far as food is concerned, many people brings snacks and such out to the parade route. Plus, there are numerous mobile food trucks all along parade routes, and I mean, you're in New Orleans... nine chances out of ten, there's an awesome restaurant a short walk from wherever you're standing! Just make sure you get in well ahead of the parade because if you're anywhere close to a parade route, all nearby restaurants are gonna be very busy in the hours leading up to a parade. The bonus of going to eat at a restaurant close to a parade route is that if you eat there, you can usually return back to that restaurant to use the bathroom! VERY IMPORTANT!
    The real art of New Orleans parading is waiting. You cannot arrive ten minutes before a parade starts and expect to get a good spot. For most parades, you should pan to arrive at your spot around two hours before you expect the
parade. Keep in mind that with all things New Orleans, start times are relative terms, and you can always expect things to run slightly behind schedule. Keep in mind also that New Orleans parades are LONG. If a parade starts at around 6pm, the first float is not gonna make it so the end of the route until around 10pm at the earliest. So if you plan on standing far along the route, don't expect the parade to pass by you thirty minutes after start time. Also, most parades don't happen solo. They roll by one right after the other. So if you're looking to see a certain parade, you need to check the calendar and see if there's a parade (or three!) that rolls in front of it, and just plan on hanging out for those parades as well.
    Now, for the Super Krewes (Endymion, Bacchus, and Orpheus), you need to get there WAY ahead of time to get a good spot! There are people who literally camp out for these parades. You'll see tents lining the parade route with old couches and easy chairs sitting in front of them! It is possible to get there the day of the parade, but you need to get there WAY ahead of time! For Bacchus, there are many good parades that roll that morning on it's route so you could hang out and just make a day of it, but if you don't care to, I'd stick with 3 hours before start time--keeping in mind, that you will probably find a lot of people who have already staked out spots from that morning. For Orpheus, Proteus rolls right before it, so you need to get out there two hours prior to Proteus. And then there's Endymion...
    If there was such a thing as a SUPER SUPER krewe, it would be Endymion! This is the most gigantic parade that rolls during Carnival Season! It rolls right after 4, and it has its own route through the area of town known as Mid-City, and there are no parades that preceed it or follow it. Some people camp out for DAYS waiting for Endymion. You should get at least one member of your group out AT LEAST six hours prior to start time to secure yourself a spot. And when you get out there, I guarantee you will see a crowd similar to the crowds you would see ten minutes before start time for any other parade. Yes. It is that huge.
    So what do you do while waiting for a parade? You eat, drink. You talk. You people watch. You stroll up and down the parade route (of course, not your entire group! Someone has to save the spot!). Usually, you will be within earshot of someone who's brought a sound system so there will be music. People will probably be dancing. Once it starts to get close to parade time, the cops will block off the streets, and people will start mingling in the middle of the street. Kids sometimes bring footballs and toss them back and forth. People will carts come by selling peanuts, cotton candy, and stuffed animals and other toys. Chances are you'll see some people in costumes at any parade, but on Mardi Gras Day, they'll be fantastic! Keep your cameras out because they'll be tons to see! Some costumes are harmless TV or movie references, but many will be mocking any sort of local or national political or pop culture scandal that's going on. It's hysterical!
    So where are my top spots? Let me lay them out. I love standing by Superior Grill on St. Charles Ave. I think it's a great spot to eat in general so I don't mind eating there multiple times during a parade season! If you eat there, you can use their bathrooms. Their margaritas are so good, which I enjoy because I'm not really a beer drinker and that's the only thing easily hauled out to a parade route, unless you pick up a gallon of daquiris before getting out there. Plus, they play music and usually have a DJ, who can usually coerce a band to start playing a good song as soon as they pass in front of there. Also, you don't usually have to park any further than 3 or four blocks away, which is not bad. You take I-10 to the expressway and take the Tchoupitoulas exit, head back towards Uptown and park along Antonine (that's the Superior Grill sidestreet) just before you hit Prytania. Check the side streets too, because there's usually stuff all along there, and then when you leave, you can just head back towards the River and take Tchoupitoulas back to the expressway. Very accessible, and closer to the beginning so it's not late when everything passes. A great spot for both day and night parades any weekend!
    Now the first weekend is the weekend that my family's krewe, the Krewe of Carrollton does all its events. We have our Ball and Supper-dance that Friday night, Saturday is our...ummm... RECOVERY day... and Sunday is our parade, and there are numerous other events that go along with our Krewe this weekend (will go more into detail in my next post "Inside a Carnival Krewe") so we don't really do anything special for any other parade, and even though there are parades that follow Carrollton, we go back to the end of the parade to meet my family as they get off their floats so we don't see any other parades that day. Now, since we're already downtown, we stand downtown to watch Carrollton. There's a spot on the corner of St. Charles and Poydras right next to the Shell building, across the street from the Hotel Intercontinental that is a FANTASTIC place to watch daytime parades! Because the stands are across the street, not many people want to stand opposite them so it's not crowded at all. You can get there an hour after start time and still be right on the curb with no one in front of you. Plus, there are several food trucks that hang around the St. Charles and Poydras intersection so you've got lots of refreshment options! If you're staying downtown, and you want to hit daytime parades this is the best place to be!
    WARNING! DO NOT - I REPEAT - DO NOT attempt to watch a parade on Canal Street, day or night!! This is where every unsavory character in the city of New Orleans comes to watch parades!! They're rough, and they might literally fight you for beads!! Mixed in with these people are people who come in from out of town and stay at hotels on Canal Street and are unfamiliar with New Orleans parading and are easy targets for the hooligans who frequent this area. Plus, the street is barricaded right here so it's hard to get around, and the cops, who are aware of the rough nature of this area are not very likely to stop and let anyone get through. Even if you're staying at a hotel on Canal Street, GO WATCH PARADES SOMEWHERE ELSE! Trust me!
   Endymion does not roll on the regular "Uptown" route (which acutally rolls both Uptown and Downtown... the parades all start Uptown). Endymion rolls in Mid-City. I like to be right up close to the beginning of the parade right by Carrollton and Orleans. We go pick up Popeyes and king cake beforehand then go park so that we can snack all day while waiting for the parade. There is a warehouse on Toulouse that has parking, and if you pay to park there, they also let you have use of their portapottys, which is honestly the best bathroom you're gonna find around there unless you know someone who happens to live in the area. This is a more residential area.
   On Mardi Gras Day, I also have a special spot. While Zulu rolls before Rex, Zulu has a specialized route that does not turn onto St. Charles until Jackson Ave. (every other Uptown parade hits St. Charles at Napoleon, which is more Uptown). Personally, I do not like standing farther downtown on St. Charles than Jackson Ave. The closer you get to downtown, the less family oriented the parade route becomes, and there have been violent incidents in past years down St. Charles past Jackson Ave, closer to Lee Circle. To watch Zulu, I prefer just to walk down St. Charles and Jackson (no further!) and see Zulu as it turns onto St. Charles. If you want to be further Downtown so
that you can really see Zulu as well as Rex, I would go into the Warehouse District at St. Charles and Julia to stake your spot. Personally, I like having a really upclose view for Rex alone because the Rex floats are so beautifully detailed, and Rex (you don't say "King of Rex" or "King Rex" because Rex means "king" in Latin so it's like saying "King King") is the King of all Carnival so that's why I make it a point to get a superb spot for that parade. I like to stand on St. Charles about two blocks off of Louisiana because there, Rex crosses over to go down the opposite side of St. Charles so that Rex can stop and toast to Comus (which was the first Mardi Gras krewe ever and only hosts a ball - VERY elite!) at a mansion on the other side of St. Charles than what parades normally roll on. (All parades roll on the Riverside - the side of St. Charles closest to the Mississippi River - of St. Charles.) A lot of people don't realize that it does this so they don't set up their spots there. It's also close to a McDonald's and since Rex starts at 10am, it's great to go out around 7:30, get a McDonald's breakfast and check out the costumes and maybe walk and see Zulu before Rex rolls past. Love this spot! 
     Locals (and some visitors who frequent New Orleans often) will notice that I haven't mentioned any tips for Metairie parades. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area, Metairie is a large suburb that runs right into the city of New Orleans. The only border between the two is a drainage canal known as the 17th Street Canal that runs from Lake Pontchartrain to the Mississippi River. Otherwise, it would be impossible to tell where Metairie ends and New Orleans begins. Many people who will respond "New Orleans" to the question "Where do you live?" actually live in Metairie (myself being one!). Metairie has its own set of parades that roll on the same schedule as the New Orleans parades.
    Warning, I am now going to sound extremely snotty so forgive me a moment until I explain. I don't go to Metairie parades. while Metairie parades have gotten larger and improved greatly over the years, the largest, most extravagent, and oldest parades roll in New Orleans. To me, there's something so much more authentic and magical about watching a parade beneath the ancient oaks that line St. Charles Avenue (which is why in New Orleans parades, I don't like to stand downtown... I love the oaks!) than watching a parade from a mall parkling lot. It's just not the same atmosphere, and it cost absolutely nothing to attend a parade so why not go where you enjoy the atmosphere better? There are people who think that Metairie parades are more family oriented and safer than New Orleans parades and this simply isn't the case as long as you know where to stand, which I have just provided for you... so there ya go. No matter where you go, Metairie or New Orleans, there are going to be people drinking and partying so I don't see what the difference in being in Metairie or New Orleans makes to be "safer". And let's face it, if people drinking and partying makes you uncomfortable, then chances are you shouldn't be in New Orleans in the first place! LOL!
    You've probably heard of the saying "Throw me somethin' mister!" However, you'll find at actual parades, people aren't really asking for a gerneric "something". They're usually looking for something specific. Long beads are something that people ask for as well as pearls. Now, we're not talking about actual pearls. What people mean are the plastic beads that are a pearly white color. Krewes usually have plastic cups with that year's theme and/or names of royalty on it, and you'll hear people yell "CUPS!!" a lot. (Go in any New Orleanian's kitchen, and you'll find it's always stocked with Mardi Gras cups!) Dubloons are coins that have the krewe's theme and year on it. These can be hard to catch. Usually what you have to do is stomp on them as they clink to the ground. Just watch your fingers since everyone else will be doing the same thing! Stuffed animals are prized throws, and a rider can get a crowd really riled up over them! Some krewes have special throws you'll only catch with at that parade. Muses is an all-women krewe, and they decorate high-heels that they selectively throw during their parade. Zulu paints cocunuts that they throw. It's a big deal to get a Muses heel or a Zulu coconut! Don't worry, they don't actually throw them, they kinda just hand them off the side of the float. You need to be up close to get these!
    You know a parade's starting when you see the cop cars, and you know a parade's over when you see the firetrucks. Everything in between is pure, ultimate fun! I hope you have a great time at whatever parades you decide to hit! Don't forget a bag to put all your throws in!